The Rock City Motel in Minneapolis, Kansas will do in a pinch. It is old and hasn't been updated since the 1960s I'd imagine. There is a punch-style desk phone, a chain lock, barely adequate window coverings and everything is orange. The pillows are like rocks and I could swear the sheets had been slept in. The walls were thin enough that we could hear the noisy outbursts and thuds against the wall. The BEST thing: good mattresses which led to an almost decent night's sleep. We had business in Minneapolis and the motels in neighboring towns were full for a holiday weekend. So, we gritted out teeth and went to sleep.