Mr & MRS Smith Artist Residence Cornwall

First, the positives: Artist’s Residence Penzance is well-located, the rooms are beautifully curated, the beds very comfortable, and the people who work there are friendly, likeable, charismatic and eager to help. Now, the rest: Artist’s Residence Penzance is almost comically over-priced. The location is good and the rooms are nice, but there is nothing else you get for your money. Even the breakfast isn’t included in the room rate and is, again, puzzlingly over-priced (£3.50 for a cup of tea, no buffet, single breakfast options for upwards of £14). The food isn’t noticeably bad, but nor is it good – and for the prices you pay for these rooms you expect something much better. There is no parking, so you have to find a space elsewhere and pay council-car-park rates. There is a small garden but all the plants are dead. I heard someone complaining to the receptionist that her room had no hot water (‘I’m paying over £250 a night so I expect hot water in my shower’, she said) only to be told that it was an old building with bad plumbing. The staff want to help but, for all their virtues, they are over-worked, struggling, and apparently un-trained. There seem to be no proper service structures in place, they all seem to have to juggle a million things at once, can only give you a fraction of their (often interrupted) attention, and the whole place feels chaotic, people running around through narrow corridors, bumping into you with plates of food in their hand, doors swinging open, their particular jobs ill-determined and unplaceable. If the staff are as nice as they are here, then a bit of chaos can be quite charming. But not this much choas, and not at the prices this hotel charges, and not if you are travelling (as we were) with young children. In fact, the place is so chaotic that, for reasons that still haven’t been explained to us, we were over-charged by £360 and it took two days of phone calls after we’d returned home to get a refund. So, in sum: if you have money to burn and all you want is a nice room and a comfortable bed amidst charming chaos in a reasonable location (oh, but: the hotel is opposite a noisy pub, so you will need ear plugs), then you may well love Artist’s Residence. But if you don’t have that kind of money and are paying above the odds, as we did, because you want to treat yourself with a bit of luxury – then you’re better off finding somewhere else. Many much more luxurious hotels nearby are a fraction of the cost.

When our day was going bad, Jordan came to the rescue and found us a perfect room (super comfy deluxe room) where availability was very limited (Bank Holiday Weekend). Over great advice on breakfast.. which was delicious and coffee from a star barista.

Be warned: despite all the style hype on the website we had to walk between a disorganised and slightly grubby kitchen and a washing up area to access the stairs to our room; our room was very small and didn't have air-conditioning despite what it says on their website; the chambermaid left our room unlocked all day and as our room didn't have a safe all our belongings were vulnerable to theft until we returned; in the restaurant our drinks order was forgotten, and the food took an age to arrive and was mostly burnt on arrival but we felt so sorry for the overworked staff we put up with it and ate around the burnt bits (the photos attached are of a burnt burger bun and a burnt fillet of fish). Worst of all, having thought we were booking through their website it seems we were diverted to a rogue version which scammed us for almost £400. The hotel is aware of this scam, which has affected a 'handful' of other guests and yet has no warning on their website and has not accepted any liability for our loss as the scammer is a third party. Our advice is to stay somewhere less hip with senior management that does actually know how to design, run and adequately staff a hotel. None of this felt like the staff's fault. They were all lovely and clearly run off their feet.

Stayed here two nights before going to the Isles of Scilly. Felt so at home by all the staff, and nothing was too much trouble. Massive shout out to Jordan and Noah who went the extra mile, suggesting places to go, and upgrading my drink to an amazing cocktail on the sunny terrace. The room was inspiring from the high quality furnishings, and walking into the room with a gorgeous Roberts radio to greet you. Couldn't fault anything, bravo everyone, as Arnie once said.."I'll be back!" Xx

We paid nearly £1400 for 2 night’s’ accomodation at the 3 bedroom cottage and it was a rip-off. The cottage was tiny : 3 bedrooms but only one toilet for the 4 of us. The worst was this: the cottage reeked of musty smell, like when one enters an old antique shop. Of course we were not expecting modern decor, but the smell of old wood and old furniture in that 3 days were unbearable we stayed out as much as possible. The smell made us question if the blankets draping over the sofa were cleaned. It was just a very uncomfortable experience. Some of us had to do work calls but phone lines didn’t work while in the premises. We couldn’t even call for taxis, “because Cornish houses were built long ago”, we were told. We asked for a change of rooms but were told all rooms were booked up and they were all the same, none of the rooms had any phone reception!! There were even splinters on the floor and two of my family caught splinters on their feet. Some of the bulbs on the cottage didn’t work. The cottage is in a sorry state. The check in experience was positive but I wish some of the effort could have been placed into making the place smell less musty and more liveable. The cottage had a small kitchenette and a dining table but it was so poorly ventilated that cooking fumes would stay on the furniture. We bought groceries to make simple breakfast but left all the produce there, unused as we didn’t want more smell to be stuck in the space. As the cottage was located next to the bar, we could hear people talking right into the night. The sound insulation was zero. If you listened carefully, you could even hear what they were saying. On the first night, a lady was screaming so loudly at wee hours of the morning it woke up all up. We will not go again & will NOT recommend it. It was the worst stay we ever had in any travel accomodation.

My partner and I were very impressed with both how nice the establishment was, and how accommodating the staff were. This place was a gem and for a very affordable price. We recommend it for all travellers but especially couples on a romantic getaway.

We paid nearly £1400 for 2 night’s’ accomodation at the 3 bedroom cottage and it was a rip-off. The cottage was tiny : 3 bedrooms but only one toilet. The worst was this: the cottage reeked of musty smell, like when one enters an old antique shop. Of course we were not expecting modern decor, but the smell of old wood and old furniture in that 3 days were unbearable we stayed out as much as possible. It made us question if the blankets draping over the sofa were cleaned. It was just a very uncomfortable experience. Some of us had to do work calls but phone lines don’t work while in the premises. We couldn’t even call for taxis, “because Cornish houses were built long ago”, we were told. We asked for a change of rooms but were told all rooms were booked up and they were all the same, none of the rooms has good phone reception. The check in experience was positive but I wish some of the effort could have been placed into making the place smell less musty and more liveable. The cottage has a small kitchenette and a dining table but it was so poorly ventilated that cooking fumes would stay on the furniture. We bought groceries to make simple breakfast but left all the produce there. We will not go again & would NOT recommend the cottage.

Knows for the best experiences in town, which is true by the standards and people, Abbie (I hope I am spelling it correctly) she has been amazing, we loved every single moment